


Diary of a Mary-Sue

by Rukazaya



Series: [Durarara!!] Non-Shizaya drabbles and one shots [2]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Crack, Gen, M/M, Trolling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 07:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rukazaya/pseuds/Rukazaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the durarara!!kink meme: In which Izaya drives her to suicide by spending however long in a relationship with her before dumping her with an "LOL JK" and skipping off into the sunset to hit on Shizuo/stalk little boys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Diary of a Mary-Sue

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Diary of a Mary-Sue  
> Pairings: Izaya x Mary Sue  
> Rated: T  
> Prompt: From the durarara!!kink meme: In which Izaya drives her to suicide by spending however long in a relationship with her before dumping her with an "LOL JK" and skipping off into the sunset to hit on Shizuo/stalk little boys.

[Journal Diary Day 1]  
ZOMG so like I made friend with this man named NAKURA and he’s like DReAMY and stuff! And, and he helps me with my literature and math homeworks online because he’s like MAD GENIUS ya know? Oh and like I met him online but I jst KNOOooow he’s perfect for me. HE KNOWS EVRYTHING! Like zomg! EVRYTHING!!! He like TOTALLY understands me!!! 

 

[Journal Diary Day 2]  
OMG Okay, so today I HAD to tell Nakura my DEEPEST DARKEST SEEECRET. Coz he like KNOWS ME SO SUPRE WELL! So I told him I cut myself ;~~~; and guess what he said?

HE SAID HE UNDERSTOOD ME BECUSE HE CUTTS HIMSELF TEWW!!!! ZOMG isn’t that like amazing?!!! I FEEL SO UNDERSOOOTD!

 

[Journal Diary Day 3]  
SOB! I TOLD HIM LIKE EVERYTHING! HOW I’M A DROP OUT AND LIKE MA BOYFRIEND DUMPPED ME AND CHEATED ON ME AND HOW MY PARENTS YELL AT ME AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME AND… and guess what he said!

HE SAID HE UNDERSTOOODMEEEE!!!!

I … I think I’m in love with him, what should I DO?!!!!

 

[Journal Diary Day 4]  
Okay, I TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM! That only HE understood me!!!  
AND HE SAID HE LOVED ME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve never been so happy!!!! I told him like I’ll try to STOp cutting myself! ;~;

 

[Journal Diary Day 5]  
I ASKED HIM OUT! Yes I know you all are like “WHUT YOU DON”T KNOW HIM” but NO FAGGETS I DO KNOW HIM SO BUTT OFF! He’s MINE! He’s SMART and HANDSOME AND HE’S ALL MINE!!!!! 

 

[Journal Diary Day 6]  
OMG HE SAID LET’S GO ON A DATE! OMG I’M GONNA MEET HIM TOMORROW! OMG OMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMOGMGOGOMGOMGOGMOGMGOMGOMGOMGG 

WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Journal Diary Day 7]  
OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NO JUST FUCKING NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE… HE CHEATED ON ME!!!! HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME BUT HE DIDN’T AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE HE LOVES EVERYONE! ALL HUMANITY EQUALLY OR WHATEVER BULL-CRAP!!!!!!  
WHAT THE FUCK!!! THEN THEN HE SAID EVEN IF HE LOVED HUMANITY, HE LOVED SOME FUCKING BLOND BARTENDER MORE!! LIKE LIKE THEY HAVE SECKS AND STUFFF!!!! WHAT THE HECK HE’S GAAAAAAAAAAAY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sob I CAN’T BARE THIS ANYMORE! GOOD BYE WORLD! THIS IS MY DYING MESSAGE! I’M GONNA GO JUMP OFF A BUILDING! BECAUSE EVERYONE HATES ME! NO ONE LOVES ME! YOU ALL JUST DON’T UNDERSTAAAAAAAAND MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=+=

The very next day, Orihara Izaya picked up his morning newspaper and giggled at the small article that concerned a suicide of a young girl. Namie rolled her eyes whenever she saw that smirk on his haughty face. Still snickering, the informant went back to his favorite internet café.

“Well then, another human who couldn’t evolve after all. I wonder who to pick next.”


End file.
